Are you a Hoarder?

The specialty channel called A&E airs a number of interesting real life programs. One of which that captures my attention is a show simply called, "Hoarders."  A&E describes it this way, "Hoaders looks inside the lives of people whose inability to part with their belongings is so out of control that they are on the verge of a personal crisis."
One evening while watching the program, I came across the thought, "Am I a hoarder?" Over the next few weeks this thought kept crossing my mind. I set out to do a quick inventory of all the items that I am susceptible of holding on to -memory cards, clothes, and a few other things. If I had to I can part with these items - like a sweater I had since my university days. I recently found out my wife disposed of it.  I had it for almost 22 yrs. I thought I was clean.
However, this lingering thought came back to me. I then began to realize that it was not material items that I was hoarding. Instead it were the hidden things, the things that others don't know about. Haunting memories, feelings and thoughts that I don't want to reveal. The things I want to hold on to or is it that I don't know how to get rid of because I've allowed them to dictate how I feel, how I think, how I live. You know what I am talking about.
Remember that description, "the lives of people whose inability to part with their belongings."  Yep, those memories, experiences no matter how bad, those thoughts - they are belongings. As a matter of fact the longer you surround yourself with them,( the longer I surround myself with them) and wallow in them will start to incapacitate you, and affect  your job, most of all your spouse and your children.  It is a snowball effect.
Watching Hoarders is sad. Seeing how 'things they own 'control how they live.' They are on the verge of a personal crisis. Seeing the clean up process is sad. It is messy, it is hard, its.....terrifying for the 'hoarder.' Yet, the end result is electrifying, relieving, and triumphant for the 'former hoarder and the loved ones alike.
SO, the question was "Am I willing to allow all those inner ghosts, memories, past experiences, etc, etc,  control how I live; control how I think, control how I feel about myself and others? Most importantly, I am willing to let my INNER HOARDING hurt those I love most? For me the answer was simply. ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Talking helps, seeking spiritual strength helps, most of all allowing yourself to let go of all that garbage is the start of a healing process.
Is it going to be easy? NO. You will feel like running because the pain is too much. Trust me it is WORTH IT in the long run.
HOARDING or FREEDOM; DIEING or LIVING.  It was an easy decision for me at least because I was tired of living a shallow existence surrounded by JUNK - and it can be for you.
Until next time.....