Wednesday 19 September 2012

Seasons of Change

I went to the optometrist the other day..... almost sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.  I sat in 'the chair' and the doc began with the usual questions I know he repeats day in and day out. "Have you noticed a change in your eye sight?" "How are your contacts, glasses?" For a brief moment I had considered saying - nothing has changed at all. I was gonna lie but I knew he would find out the truth. So I answered, "I have noticed a change." Almost a dramatic one at that, which I didn't share with him.  He went through his exam,"What is better? A or B. This one or that one. First or Second." As I answered there was a periodic 'hmmm', 'ok'  - on the other side of his instruments. Kind of freaky really. After all was said and done, the doc looks at me and says, "There has been a significant change in your eye sight, especially up close."  My heart sank. My mind raced. My blood pressure rose. I felt faint.  At that moment he said that I would need some kind of progressive lenses.  In layman terms - bifocals. Ever see the point of the movie where everything seems to slow down and the person speaking sounds like an echo only in slow motion. Well that happened to me!   I asked, "Does that mean I have to wear old man glasses? No offense sir, it just I am not ready to wear glasses that have distinct lines on my eye wear!" *sigh* "Can I get a second opinion?" He looked surprised  and actually laughed at me. Really, what kind of etiquette is that?  "Do you perform laser surgery??"  I knew he didn't but I was grasping for anything that was a sign of hope. The only hope he had to offer me was a prescription called 'Progressive lens' - no  glasses with distinct lines that old men wear. I am only 46 yrs old. I don't need old man glasses, bring on the progressives!

Seasons of change. I still feel like I am in my 20's but to reluctantly admit  there are something I can no longer do. To brag a little; when I was in high school I was able to one step and grab the rim of a basketball net. Yes at regulation height. Today, I can barely reach half way up the mesh.;  I was able to run a 49 - 50 sec 400 meter sprint. Today I wouldn't even think of doing the 60 meter dash. Volleyball! I love volleyball. I was able to play 2 positions at once. There were things that I did that sent a WOW vibrating  through  the crowd. Things I did  made me want to take notes on myself! Sheesh even 10 years ago I could almost do that.  However, today its a totally different matter. All I have are memories.

Most recent is my back. I sent my back into almost violent spasms on a return trip with my  family from my home rez. It was a simple task of putting a 5 lb. bag of ice into our cooler.  That was mid- August. Today, a month later the lingering effect are still evident. Don't ask just believe me. My body is changing.

There are many things that are changing. It is a cycle of life we all will go through. I look outside and the trees in this part of Ontario are in the midst of change. The leaves on certain trees are changing colour and soon they will no longer bear the markings that distinguish one species from another. Yet, unlike us the trees will sprout a new clothing of leaves in 7-8 months time. I,  however,  am going to have to adapt to my changes. A better diet, less junk food,  a few more exercises. No let me rephrase that- I have to start exercising PERIOD. Perhaps even a better sleep pattern. Why adapt?  I want to see my children go through their seasonal; permanent changes. I want to rejoice in their accomplishments and cheer them on in their rough times; cry with them when they hurt and laugh with them when they don't.

I went to the optometrist the other day..... almost sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. The joke was on me. Not a bad one but one of reality. Seasons of change.  Just remember it is something we all go through. Each of us will handle it differently. As for my progressive lens, I have to laugh, because it was a few short years ago I laughed at my peers who had to get them. On final though it is a bad joke indeed!



Chi-Meegwetch
Baamaapii













Tuesday 11 September 2012

Childhood Reflection

I was at the local library today, stealing the WIFI to play  game on my iPhone, when I suddenly recalled a childhood experience.

There we were with our hands pressed to the glass doors and our faces cupped in our hands..looking in. Looking for the first signs that someone was inside. The coast was clear,  with that we all slowly made our way into the library. The time frame was grade 3. It was our gang. Myself and four others - 2 of them were girls.  They hung out with us, because if they didn't, they would 'tell.'  To this day I often wonder what they would 'tell.' And who would they 'tell?' I guess that is what the scarey part was. That was Mikey, Bobby, Sarah and Lainie. The last two, they were the girls. They were kinda cool. So we let them in our little gang. Even though they threatened us that they were gonna, 'tell.'

As we walked into the library our initial reason was to get warm. Yet, deep down we knew there was more. It was a cold Fall day, the wind was blowing and there was a rain mixed with snow. That I remember. I looked at all those books. Books for both young and old. You know the ones that had pictures in them and the others that had none at all.
I really don't recall who said it first, could of even been me for that matter. The conversation of typical 8 yr olds went something like this. "Wow those books are way up there."  "One day we will be able to reach them." "Look how far I can reach up."  "I can reach higher that all of yous!"

Just then, the tag along showed up out of thin air. He always seemed to do that.  I'm sure there was that one individual who always hung around when you didn't want him to. Well, Spidey, as we called him because he seemed to have that spidey sense when we - the gang- got together to do something. For some reason when we got together it almost always ended up being mischievous, adventuresome and every so often with some police involvement. Spidey asked what we were doing, we told him nothing just getting warm. So he decided to stay. To our dismay.
Well Lainie, she was the catalyst to our many woes, said "Look!" With that she knocked a book from where it was perched to the floor. Not to be outdone by a girl, I knocked down 2 books from its shelf. With that she glared at me like I did something wrong. Not a word was spoken between all six of us - including Spidey. It seemed like hours yet it was only seconds. Spontaneously, everyone of started pulling books from the shelves. Starting from the lowest shelving to as high as we could reach - probably only the third of fourth shelf  up. Little people books, big people books. Everything our little hands could touch found itself on the floor. When we finished - all about a minute later - we found ourselves laughing with delight.  We looked around satisfied with our job, realizing what  we had ,we took off as fast as we could.  As we ran out of the library,  I recall Sarah saying, "Where is Spidey?"

We got back to our class room. No sooner did we sit down than our principal, Mr. Harrison came into our classroom.  He was a scarey old bugger. He had black framed glasses. he had gray hair on his sides and had a bald hair cut up the middle - as we called it. We called him Big Foot because he was one hairy guy.  He didn't look impressed. In fact, he was one angry white guy, that we later said.  He pointed his short stubby fingers at each of us. We were marched to the library, in single file and didn't dare step out of line. As we stood in the library, the scary principal, screeched, "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS" With military like training we all stared ahead, not looking for we knew what he was speaking about,  not uttering a single word of blame or admittance of guilt. With one stride, Big Foot zeroed  in on Spidey - there he is again showing up out of nowhere. We knew we were done for. Without the angry hairy white guy  uttering a word, Spidey began to cry. He wailed like he was being beat to death. He sobbed so hard that he was having a hard time catching his breath.  Still looking straight ahead, each of us mumbled, "wait till after school."  So, when he caught his breath, Spidey spilled the beans. He told Big Foot how he watched us come into the library and he followed us in. He pointed at Lainie and I saying we started it all. Then made up a lie, how we made him do this - masterpiece of a mess-  with us.

That was enough evidence that Big Foot needed. Still standing in line. Not really knowing what was next, Big Foot pulled out a huge leather strap. My first thought was, "Spidey is going to pay for this." Spidey's first reaction - a wailing and hard sobbing all over again. Each of held out our hands, and as brave as an 8 yr old could be I felt the hot sting of that leather weapon come down on my hands. I didn't  cry but looked Big Foot in the eye and smiled.
Did we get Spidey after school? NO. He caught the bus home that day. As the bus drove by, he smiled and stuck his tongue out at us.

About a week later, our class had library time. Walking into that library, the mess was cleaned up, each book placed in its proper Dewy Decimal place. I even walked in the aisle that I was proud to have rearranged. I looked for the librarian. When she wasn't looking. I took two books and put them in different areas of the library. YES, I was a rebel.

I wonder to this day if those books have ever been found.



Chi-Meegwetch
Baamaapii